I Hate Christmas
by lain02
Summary: "I know this sounds KJ, but i don't give a damn. I HATE CHRISTMAS, and that's that. Well, until someone changed that in just a matter of minutes." -N.H. sorry if this is super ever late! But hope you read it and review :


Hey guys! So good to be back! I hope you like my story!

P.S.: i don't own GA. :)

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><p>I Hate Christmas<p>

_"Could falling in love this quickly be possible? Because i just did. And she changed my whole life in less than two hours."_

"I told you, I hate Christmas." I gritted my teeth in exasperation. How many times do I have to tell these guys that I won't go?

"Oh come on Natsume!" Koko groaned beside me. "It's just a damn party!"

"That's exactly what I think, it's _just_ a party!" I sighed, seeing my breath turn into a fog in the air.

"Urrrrghhh." Koko groaned louder. "Help me out here, Ruka, this guy's a hard nut to crack!" He turned to Ruka, who in turn just looked at me. I shot him a look saying: '_Don't even think about it.'_

Who am I kidding; he's my best friend since we're just in diapers! I bet he wouldn't betray me just like that, right?

"You know, Koko's right." He started.

Traitor.

"Maybe you should take another shot in Christmas, it's 'the season of joy' anyway." He shrugged. I just scoffed at his remark.

"Uhu, yeah, nice. Look, this is our street already." I nodded to the left with relief. "So, I guess I'll just see you guys _after_ xmas break. –"

"Rukaaa…" I heard Koko whine as I turn my back on them. After maybe, three seconds, I heard heavy and fast footsteps catching up behind me.

"Oi Natsume!" Ruka's voice called out to me. I raised my hand dismissively before he could launch into another speech.

"Enough Ruka. My ears are still bleeding because of Koko's endless ranting for the past days."

"Just…." Ruka sighed. "Why don't you give it another chance? C'mon, past is past." He started hopelessly, since he probably knew that this discussion will lead nowhere. And we've got many pointless conversations to prove it.

"You don't understand-"

"No, actually, I do, and you know that Natsume." Ruka pointed out. "I'm just trying to-"

"-help me get over it?" I finished his statement and stretched. "Look, Ruka, I appreciate it, but it's useless." I said.

And for just that moment, we walked in silence, until he broke it.

"Natsume, could you just listen for even a minute?" Judging from his voice, I could tell that he's holding back. "Why don't you at least _try_ to get over?"

"I told you-"

"JUST LISTEN!" BAM!

The next thing I knew, I was cornered to the cold wall.

"Look Hyuuga, if you don't change your mindset then you will follow just that, and no one can stop you, not even me. I know what happened years ago is too painful for you to bear, but it's time for you to leave the past for God's sake!" Yeah, I admit I was taken aback by his actions, but I should fight back.

"You're the one to speak!" I escaped from his grasp and started breaking down, only to catch myself at some points. "You don't have a bastard-for-a-father that doesn't even treat you his son!" I escaped from his grasp and started breaking down, only to catch myself at some points. I paused as I stared at his face with a crazy expression.

"You basically got an amazing life." We finally reached my place. Even though I lost our house many years back, father still managed the family business even though we just lost both my mom and Aoi, making this mansion in front of me the fruit of my cold hearted father.

As I was staring at our house, I felt Ruka's comforting hand on my shoulder. I just offered a quick nod and waved goodbye without a word.

When I entered the house, I didn't bother to even shout "I'm home!" or any of that crap, because I knew only our butler would answer me. Silence is better than that. I went upstairs to my room and as I reach it, I flopped down on my bed, thinking about my almost break down.

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><p><em>it's time for you to leave the past for God's sake!<em>

Ruka's voice kept on replaying in my head. I sighed and stood up from my bed, only to find a piece of paper on my dresser. I took it and a smirk slowly crept on my face. It's Koko's invitation to his Christmas party.

_it's time for you to leave the past for God's sake!_

'_Hn, just five days from now.'_ And suddenly, I remember him begging for me to go, to the point that he kneeled in front of me before the whole class. Talk about gay shitness.

_it's time for you to leave the past for God's sake!_

But how? What's the first step?

I stared at the invitation card I'm holding.

_It's just a damn party!_

I grinned. Yeah. It's just a damn party, right?

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><p>December 24: Christmas eve<p>

_BRRRIIIIINNNGGGGG BRRRRIIII-_

"_You finally answered!"_ I heard Ruka exhale in relief at the other line.

"Yeah yeah, listen, where are you?" I looked around as I steer my car to a corner.

"_I'm the one who should be asking that!"_ He retorted. _"Are you really sure that you don't want to come?"_

"…"

"_To the party, I mean." _

Oh right. I didn't tell him my plan on going. My bad.

"About that…."

"_Hold that thought. Wait- Oi Koko! Hey! Tsubasa just invaded your room!"_ Then I heard someone shout in the background with the loud music blaring. _"Uh… look Nat, I got to go. You're missing out all the fun! Bye!"_

Nice. Just nice.

I parked my car across the street where Koko's house is located. I closed the door behind me and locked it; afterwards, I jogged towards the glowing house, keeping my body heat inside me.

The moment I stepped on their block, the loud music greeted me. That's Koko a.k.a. "The Party King" for you. I bet the neighbours are trying their bests not to report him. I approached the door, turned the knob and entered, preparing myself for the noise and pulled up my hood, to disguise my face. One word can describe the party:

Chaotic.

Just the way I like it; at least no one will notice me.

I made my way across the room, to the 'secret room', reserved only for Koko, Ruka and me. What- I mean _who_- I saw inside made my eyes pop.

Only one thought formulated in my head: '_It's a girl.'_

"Are you lost or something?" I asked the brunette with- is that a sketch pad?- in her hands, sitting on the black couch. My voice startled her and she was quickly taken aback.

"Oh. Um.. I'm not; actually, I should be meeting someone here, but… I don't know." She smiled as she looked up from her sketch pad. '_Who could she be meeting here…? Only the three of us knows this room.'_

"So… how about you? Maybe _you_'re the lost one!" She giggled as I sat beside her and turned on the tv.

"Me? Pfft. Yeah right. I didn't plan on going here in the first place." I scoffed.

"What changed your mind, then?" She asked with those big, curious, hazel eyes.

Well, what did change my mind? Definitely not because I want to have fun or something, neither do I want to spend time with Koko nor with Ruka, after my outburst four days ago. Is it really because I want to move on? To get over my problems?

"I really… don't know." I answered honestly. Then I sighed and covered my face with both of my hands. She must've felt my dread because I felt someone staring directly at my face. And when I removed my hands, her big eyes and smile greeted my sight.

"What?" I narrowed my eyes on her.

"Well, for all I know," She hugged a pillow to her chest. "No one should be sad on Christmas eve! You should be smiling!" She giggled and, can you believe it, started pinching my cheeks! But instead on removing her hands, I just let her. Straaaaaange.

"Smiiiiiiiile! Come on!" She started pouting when she noticed I'm not cooperating with her. "Hey!"

"…"

"Loner!"

"…."

"Emo!"

"…"

"Zoooombiieeeeee…."

"You're weird." I finally commented.

"And I'm proud of it!" She stuck out her tongue and made a peace sign, finally releasing my sore cheeks. "So tell me, why're you so glum on Christmas?"

"It's nothing." I glared at her and tried on concentrating on the tv.

"Come ooonn..!" She pleaded. "Pleeeaaaasse?"

"No." I continued on keeping my eyes on the tv.

"Please?"

"…"

"Please?"

"…"

Then what came next surprised me. She just stayed quiet for a moment, shrugged, and went back to her sketching. She started her own story.

"My mom said that my dad was a great artist." She said. "She said he could draw anything! From the simplest leaves to the detailed human face, can you believe it? One time, when I tried cleaning up the attic, I saw millions of his paintings! I even saw one of mom in a white evening gown…" She trailed off. Why is she even telling me this? We just met just minutes ago! We don't even know each other's names!

"Yeah, my mom would proudly say that he's such a charmer, my dad. Every day, would give my mom a pure white rose." I noticed her tone of voice is so… distant. Even her gaze, I can feel that it's not focused on her pad anymore; it's as distant as her voice.

"But I never got the chance to talk to him." Wait, what?

"Look, you don't have to te-"

"He died in an accident, when I was just eight months old on Christmas day." She turned to me and smiled. My eyes widened. Now it makes sense, the faraway look in her gaze, the distant feel of her voice. And the way she used '_was'_ instead of '_is'_. She's the same as me… she lost someone on Christmas day. But that's the only similarity I found between us, because unlike me, she's taking the loss fine.

For a moment, there was silence, since I couldn't formulate anything, not even a 'sorry for your loss', in my head. So I find myself asking her a question.

"….How did you manage? I mean, the loss."

"That's easy, I just smile." And to prove her point, she showed her carefree smile to me.

"Why smiling?"

"Since it would be useless to mourn for my father until now, duh!" I looked at her kinda weird. "You may say that since I'm just a few months old, I won't feel the loss, but it's the exact opposite… I still remember his warmth towards me, the way he would hum me a lullaby when I cry at night.. it's his soul that I remember, not the physical appearance, and it's the same soul that I won't be with all my life. The hardest part is the realization that I won't feel his presence even though I'm just a baby back then." She shared with me as she continued on sketching.

"I smile because I know that at least, my dad is up there, now safe and happy, where nothing could harm him again. Like I said awhile ago, it would be useless to cry over him until now, because you have your own life to live, and it would do you no good if you keep on living in the past! Plus, I want to be strong for my mom, I don't know." An angelic laugh escaped her lips. God, what's happening to me?

"Yeah… being strong huh?" I know how she feels. "I'm just like you, in a way. On Christmas eve, my parents fought. Father then decided that he'll just leave with me, even though I'm against it."

"So what happened next?" She asked, being absorbed in my story.

"The fire happened next." I paused, looking at her clueless expression.

"The fire that killed both my mom and little sister in one night. After the burial, father instantly returned to work, leaving me alone to deal with the relatives." All those crap about they're sorry for me, that it must be very hard on me, about their pity on a small child like me. "That's why I hate Christmas. It reminds me of my mom and sister that I would never see again. It reminds me that I'm really lonely since father barely comes home, and if he does, we barely talk and, being the perfectionist he is, he would scold me about my directionless life and a-"

Instead of saying pitiful remarks like what my relatives did, her warm, vanilla scented arms enveloped me into a comforting embrace. And for the first time, liquid droplets run down my cheeks. It took me a second to realize that these are _tears_. The tears that I didn't shed at that funeral, since I want to become strong for myself, knowing that father wouldn't be there by my side.

"Shh. Hey, it's alright." She soothed me with her silky voice.

For a while we just sat there, her hugging me while I welcome her warmth.

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

We both let go and I cleared my throat.

"Uh, come in?" I called out. A very triumphant Ruka entered the scene.

"Yow Natsume! Glad you made- woah, dude, are you _crying_?" He feigned innocence."No. seriously, really?" He came closer to me with a disbelieving expression.

"No I'm not." I defended and wiped my tears away with my sleeve.

"Uh, no offense." He said as he squatted in front of me. "Those puffy eyes and red nose are a dead giveaway." He grinned while I tried my best to glare at him. He just stood back and shrugged.

"Hm, okay then! I see you've met my couz!" Ruka said, referring to the brunette. I raised my eyebrows in bewilderment.

"She…. Her…. _Cousin_?"

"Yeah- wait." He fished out his ringing phone. "I'll be back in a sec." He said and quickly went outside.

"So…. You're Ruka's cousin, huh?" I asked for confirmation. She just nodded and smiled.

"_Everybody listen up!" _We both heard Koko's voice. _"Ten seconds to midnight! Come on guys! Let's have a countdown!" _Everyone else cheered as Koko stared to count. _"Ten!_

_Nine! _

_Eight!_

_Seven! _

_Six!"_

"So… Christmas, huh?" I started the conversation awkwardly.

"Hey, Natsume right?" She asked and I nodded. "Have your feelings about Christmas changed?" She asked me, not removing the gaze on my face.

"_Five!"_

"Hmm…." I thought for a moment, looking at her expectant expression.

And looked.

And looked.

Still looking….

"Well?" She whined. "Are you going to answer or-"

"_Four!"_

I stopped her as I closed the gap between us with a kiss.

"_Three! Two!"_

We stopped as her face turned red. But I know that my face is redder.

"I guess my answer is yes." I smiled at her. "And it's all because of you."

"_One! Merry Christmas guys!"_ Everyone joined in and greeted each other.

"Merry Christmas." I whispered to her. She then hugged me again.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Natsume." And I swear, I could feel her smile.

"Yow guys! Hey, couz we gotta- what the?" Ruka burst in the room, eyeing both of us suspiciously.

"What just happened?" He grinned widely, earning a scowl from me, and this time, I didn't try hard.

"Dude. I could kill you right now." I threatened him as we both pulled away.

"Uh… Hey! We have to go! Aunt Yuka's gonna kill me!" He changed the subject and pulled smiley (I called her smiley since I still don't know her name. damn.) away from me and out the door.

"What? W-wait!" She turned to me with a smile on her face. "Merry Christmas Natsume! Hope I could see you in school!" and with that last statement- and with Ruka's wink and mischievous grin- they both left.

I stayed in the room for a few minutes more, processing what just happened for the one and a half hour in this room with smiley. The way we just talked here, being comfortable and all, the way she smiled and made me change my whole outlook on Christmas.

And I still don't know her name.

"Damn!" I cursed out loud. "I forgot to ask her name!" I ruffled my hair in frustration and I stood up feeling shitty about my mistake. But when I did, a piece of paper fell.

"What's this?" I reached for the paper and unfolded it.

I grinned goofily as I stared back at my smiling face in the paper. '_So that's what she's been busy with!'_ I kept the paper and her last statement came back to me: "….._Hope I could see you in school!"_

I almost jumped with joy.

I could still see her!

"Can't wait to meet you again, smiley." I grinned, hoping that time could go quickly.

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><p>please read and review, even though it's suckish :))<p> 


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